Genre: general, humor
Summary: Changmin and Jaejoong are roommates in their first year of college. Jaejoong thinks he’s a good roommate.
A/N: Infinite possibilities for sequels because “Jaejoong” is my roommate. Prompt #20 for the starcandy challenge. Also, a sequel to Bitter Juice
The weather is changing and both Jaejoong and Changmin develop coughs. Changmin’s is the type that tickles the throat and won’t leave him comfortable as he’s trying to fall asleep. Jaejoong’s is the type where his throat is trying to close up and shred apart at the same time, all the time. Except Changmin is polite enough to drink teas and ease his throat while Jaejoong lets his cough going for hours at night.
Changmin gets so little sleep one night that he makes a steaming cup of green tea for his perpetually coughing roommate. And of course, Jaejoong acts like Changmin has just gifted him a gold bar. “Oh my gosh, you’re so sweet!” Jaejoong’s reaction is so flamboyant that Changmin can’t tell if he is being truly sincere or not, but he feels awkward either way. He smiles and returns to his bed, hoping that he will get more sleep that night.
But Jaejoong’s cough still racks through his body every minute or so, and Changmin gets jolted out of his light sleep until Jaejoong finally stops coughing enough to sleep.
When Changmin gets up the next morning and Jaejoong has surprisingly decided to go to class that day, he says his mantra of “fuck Jaejoong, fuck Jaejoong, fuck Jaejoong,” as he readies for the day.
It’s probably only the second time that Changmin has been there to see Jaejoong drunk. The first time was a few nights previously, and he stumbled into the room and fell onto his bed in exhaustion. “Yeah, I’m a little drunk.” That night, Jaejoong fell asleep pretty easily and was fine the next morning. This time is a little different.
Jaejoong is giggling. Like an idiot. He sheds a few layers of clothes, all the way until he is in his scanty underwear. He tries to pull his shirt over his head, but he can’t quite get it over his shoulders and leaves it hanging off his body. Turning directly to Changmin, who is trying not to watch, he deadpans, “I’m really drunk right now.”
Crawling into his bed, Jaejoong goes through the same pattern as last time, but just as he is about to fall asleep, he pulls his phone out of somewhere and calls his girlfriend.
This is something Changmin has experienced with Jaejoong a lot over the semester, and he knows way more about Jaejoong’s relationship status than he ever wanted to. He knew about when Jaejoong flew to her so they could fuck, literally so they could fuck, and he overheard all the conversations (and mostly arguments) they had over video chat. For some reason, Jaejoong seems to think that Changmin must tune everything out. It’s mostly true, but Changmin can still hear when Jaejoong seethes with bitchiness.
Tonight is at least the third time he has had to overhear Jaejoong break up with his girlfriend. “We’re done; I hate what you put me through. I can’t take it any longer.” It’s probably the first time this has happened over a phone call, and honestly, Changmin doesn’t know if that is better or worse. Either way, he wishes he wasn’t there. Changmin can’t even pretend to go to bed because he is a responsible roommate and wants to make sure Jaejoong won’t die or anything.
Changmin blocks the night from his memory as best as possible, but he still remembers the moment when Jaejoong stared into his eyes will sprawled out on his bed. “You little bitch, don’t put me on speaker for your roommates to hear. Don’t try to calm me. I will remember this. I don’t forget even when I’ve been drinking. I’m breaking up with you.”
Jaejoong’s now ex-girlfriend must be a saint. Changmin has always thought that from all their conversations he has overheard. What Changmin hears paints Jaejoong as one of those manipulative and abusive lovers. One who is more interested in maintaining a friendship with his girlfriend’s twin brother rather than his lover.
They would never be a good couple, Jaejoong and Changmin.
A lot of weird things come in and out of the doors to an international university. Pets (other than fish), alcohol (for minors), toasters, drugs, weapons, and candles are among other things that might cause disaster in a college dorm and are not allowed. Changmin has sincerely followed all the rules and brought nod disaster, and surprisingly, Jaejoong has kept up his side of the deal while in the room.
At least, while Changmin is there.
It’s the beginning of the new school term when Jaejoong pops this question casually from his desk. “What will happen when a Muslim, and Christian, and I walk into a bar?”
Changmin quirks an eyebrow. “Is this the beginning of a racist joke?” He swore he would get on friendlier terms with his roommate, did that mean toeing that line?
But Jaejoong only laughs. “No, some friends are coming over this weekend and I plan on getting them drunk.” He casually admits that he will be engaging in illegal activities again, but promises that he will not get drunk himself, he is playing the chaperone.
Secretly, to himself, Changmin isn’t even surprised anymore. He’s gotten used to Jaejoong’s flippantness, his lack of responsibility and integrity, and his outright rule breaking. So he makes plans to spend the weekend with his family, far away from Jaejoong and his shenanigans.
Changmin returns on Monday morning for his chemistry class. The room is a bit of a wreck, and Jaejoong specifically told him to delay returning because he had to do some cleaning. Changmin’s trashcan has a bag in it and he pokes it a little before the thought occurs to him that it might be in the trash for a reason.
“Yeah, one of my friends got so hammered that he puked. Right into the bag. Twice. He threw it away, so don’t touch it.” Jaejoong tells him unabashedly that evening. Changmin holds back that he already touched it, thanks for the warning.
When Changmin finds the shower covered in filth (“we had to bathe him, he was so disgusting after vomiting,”) he gets his revenge. “I’m not cleaning that.”
Jaejoong owns up to the mess and takes care of it himself, but still, he deserves it.
He is the worst roommate Changmin’s ever had, but also the only one. But everyone tells him that he is too polite and forgiving with Jaejoong. That most people would complain to management about a roommate who either never gets out of bed for literally twenty hours, or doesn’t return until the twenty hours later. A roommate who skips all his classes, drops the ones he’s failing, and still complains about how hard college is. A roommate who on two consecutive nights invited two separate friends to pull up a spare mattress and spend the night, while Changmin is still there.
Sometimes though, Changmin doesn’t give a fuck enough to really do anything about it.
Jaejoong has his alarm set to go off two hours before his first class. It allows him to take a shower and ready for the day in any manner he chooses. Changmin’s alarm is set an hour before his first class. It allows him to get dressed and fall back asleep until he needs to get to class. On Wednesday, they both have a 9AM. Changmin’s probably had three hours of sleep when the first obnoxious hip-hop alarm goes off. He jolts out of bed and starts getting ready when he realizes that for the first time, he got up to the wrong alarm.
And Jaejoong does the thing he always does. He stays in bed, hits snooze so his alarm will continue blaring at regular intervals while Changmin tries to catch a little more sleep. When it comes time to go to class, he doesn’t get out of bed, skipping class again. How many times has Changmin asked for Jaejoong to simply turn off his alarms if he isn’t going to wake? How many times has Jaejoong smile and said “I need them.” For what, motherfucker?
“Fuck Jaejoong, fuck Jaejoong, fuck Jaejoong.” Changmin chants as he leaves the dorm.
Sequel: Mangos, Calculus, and the Love Guru